Tag: paxholes

Lyft pickup 32 minutes away

Long Pickups

I always make sure to use a middle finger to deny Lyft requests like this one. Lyft doesn’t pay extra for long pickups, so nope Dominick, I won’t…

Passenger: “I’ll be right out!”

Heavenly Creature

Last night I was the only driver working a bar close in my neck of the woods; the rest got spooked offline by an unruly crowd from a…

Obedience Training

Lyft was crazy busy last night, so I only had 1 Uber ride at the very end of my “shift”. Four dudes that were extremely drunk+stoned and absolutely…

Saturday Night Fairytale

– Good evening Happy! – Good evening Snow White! – Good evening Sleepy! – Good evening Snow White! – Good evening Doc! – Good evening Snow White! –…

“I couldn’t do it”

Had 4 drunk cops (out of uniform) in my car last night. The entire ride they were telling me that this gig is crazy and the drivers are…

Disrespectful pax at pickup, proper response

Pax: What the fuck you think you’re doing, making me walk 50 feet to your car?! You: Oh, I’m so glad you said that!… Pax: (blank stare, system…

A Tale Of Two Ladies In Fur

Picked up two posh young ladies from a black tie event at the country club. Fur coats, diamonds, gold, you name it. Both immediately gave me attitude varying…

New Scam?

All evening long: Ping from one of many apartment buildings that are popular among local students I arrive at the pin Pax’s live location is on and indicates…

Small Town Pet Peeves

Group of 3 gets in your car. During their short trip, all 3 prove themselves as total assholes, just shy of “get the fuck out of my car”…

“I Only Have Hundreds!”

Drunk pax searching his pockets late at night. “I’ll have to tip you on the app, I only have hundreds on me!” – Okay, whatever. After he left,…

Already had 2 of these; expecting more with the flu season…

– Achoo! ACHOO! – Cover up when you sneeze, please. – You’re an Uber driver, you don’t get to tell me what to do! – Your ride is…

Hulks

Last night in the sticks was the most violent one of my entire Uber “career”. It was super slow until most bars closed, then suddenly all competition went…

“I Am Here”

“I am here” is a pax’s equivalent of “I am Groot”

“I get car sick in a back seat!”

Oh really? Then I especially don’t want you riding shotgun. Abso-fuckin’-lutely. Back seat is equipped with seat covers, kick mats and bucket style floor mat. It’s a kill…

Really Shitty Linguistics

Any new field adds something to my vocabulary. With Uber, I haven’t discovered any new words in a very long time. Then, thanks to the Uber online community,…

To pax that reportedly “felt uncomfortable with phone use on a recent trip”

Uber and Google Maps are the apps. Apps are in my phone. Phone is in a holder. Holder is in my car that’s transporting your ass from A…

Why You Shouldn’t Pick Up Low Rated Pax After Dark

Perfect case in point. Yesterday was a very slow day, so I picked up the same 4.72 twice – once during the day, once later at night. The…

Free-riders Come In All Shapes And Sizes

Had my first ever pax cancel a few minutes after pickup on a long trip, which of course abruptly ended a few seconds afterwards. Middle aged Chinese lady….