Lyft was crazy busy last night, so I only had 1 Uber ride at the very end of my “shift”. Four dudes that were extremely drunk+stoned and absolutely obnoxious, but going 20 miles towards my home, so I’ve decided to not give a fuck.

About 5 minutes into the ride, the most stoned pax from the back seat sticks his head above my shoulder… and immediately finds my fist gently lodged under his nose. I promise that if he does it again, I’ll repeat at full speed. Being a crackhead, he had to test me… Splat, here’s your paper towel, now SIT DOWN. The rest of the ride was quiet and uneventful, and pax managed to contain his nosebleed into a towel.

…This morning I woke up to a 4-star and a $1 tip from that pax.